I think there are 4 or 5 of you that were followers on my old blog. I use the term blog extremely loosely because 8 entries over 2 years hardly qualifies as a blog. Also, I haven't posted on it in so long that Google will let me read it, but not post on it. I think they dumped me. That's ok. Like a psychotic cat lady, I can just change my name and show up at Google's door again.
So I am happy to be launching Crap I think of v.2.0. I have been inspired in recent days to stick with this and just let it all out. Some of you may be offended (but if you are a friend and you think I am writing about you, unless your name is mentioned unclench your butt b/c I'm not), some of you may think I'm nuts (which is fine b/c I already do) and some of you may get a good laugh. Obviously, I am shooting for the 3rd option here. So, that being said.....
Every once in a while, we all have those moments in our relationships that remind us how we have just become too damn comfortable with each other. Some couples pick their noses with the other person right there. Some use the "facilities" with the door wide open for everyone in the house to enjoy (which I'm sure they don't). Last night, Nick and I sat on the couch in the media room. Saturday night. Watching a marathon of Diners, Drive ins and Dives. Bonding by ignoring each other playing games on our electronic device of choice. Bitsy is between us. I look down and see a wet spot by her on the couch. Oh Lord, did she pee on the couch???? I give you the conversation that followed:
Me: Did she pee???? Is that pee???
Nick: I don't know (not even looking away from his phone. How is he going to know if it is or isn't if he doesn't look. Pretty sure he's not the Great and Powerful Oz)?
Me: Well, smell it!
Nick: Not right now. In a minute.
Me: No, now. I need to know what kind of "wet" this is.
Nick:........... (see, I've lost him and he's now more interested in his game than whatever animal body fluid this might or might not be on our couch).
Me: Fine, I'm getting one of those wet butt wipe things from the kids' bathrooms and figuring it out. (Yes, I feel that I'm the girl and as an act of chivalry, he should be dealing with this mess. There are no dragons to slay, no one locks me in a castle, no one else is trying to woo me away. The pee is all I have here).
I blot said stain and in the darkness, start blotting at it and squinting to see any signs of yellow.
I now realize that I had asked him to smell it. I also realize that instead of him saying, "hell no, you do it" I was answered with "in a minute". See? Too comfortable. 10 years ago, when we were first dating, a similar incident happened involving one of my cats, explosive diarrhea (not me, the cat) and flinging poo. There was so much laughter involved that it is still a story we tell today. See, I'm telling y'all about it right now. This incident last night however, reminded me that as we grow together, we get so used to each others insanity and crazy requests, that we really don't react anymore. We know that if we handle it a certain way, it will resolve itself. So, maybe getting comfortable isn't all bad. Sometimes it is a great way to avoid a fight. Or in Nick's case, avoid sniffing what could have been dog pee.
***In case you are wondering, it was slobber. Still to determine whether it was Nick's or the dog's.
