He don't need no stinkin' badges!

Ok.  I really try to be a good parent.  I do.  I think I'm running at about an 80% success rate, which I don't think is too bad.  That being said, I am officially at my wits end with Hud.  Officially.  I do no know what to do with the boy.  I should probably recap for those of you that may have forgotten or may be new to my saga.
Let's go back...way back....  I go for a 3D ultrasound at 32 weeks pregnant.  So excited to see the little smooshed face crammed up against my uterus.  I look at the screen, and there, plain as day is a little chubby cheeked baby extending his middle finger right in the middle of the shot.  The tech was so impressed she asked if she could keep a copy for her wall of fame.  Great, his first mug shot.  Awesome.
When the boy was 2 he was kicked out of preschool for throwing too many fits.  I'll be honest, I was so pissed at the situation (and I'm pretty sure I'm still harboring some bitterness) that I don't remember all the details.
Last year, was another doozie.  I remember climbing the stairs to his class every M/W/F wondering what face of Cybil would greet me.
I don't get it.  I mean, he and Henry came from the exact same genetic material.  Henry has had maybe 3 or 4 bad days his entire school career and each time, he was so mortified that it was at least 6 months before he had another bad day.  Hud seems to take pleasure in coming up with new ways to piss people off.  He gets mad if a kid colors outside the lines.  He gets mad if someone talks when they shouldn't.  He gets mad if someone takes a chair he wanted.  He gets mad if someone looks at him wrong.  However, should he do any of the above, it's perfectly fine and everyone should get over it.
Last week, he came home with his first "red" day.  He told me the teacher gave him the wrong color as he cried on his bike ride home.  When I opened his folder, he had tried to erase that red stamp!!!  It was all smeared and pink.  I realized that the child must think he's smarter than me.  Clearly, in his mind, there was no way I would notice that big pink blob on his chart.  OMG, the kid thinks he's smarter than me!  I figured I had at least until 9 or 10 before that would happen.
Today was another banner day for him.  Red again. This time he says, "It's because my body makes me do it.".  Ok, I don't even know what that means.  Is he possessed?  Like Linda Blair possessed.  I mean, he's shown tendencies and my God that would explain so much.  The lack of sleeping.  The random puking.  The pets running when he comes into a room.  If I see his head spin, I'll take it as a full confirmation.  I feel like he's heading for a hard life.  Like he's going to be selling illegal gummy bears off the back of his trike at the park.  He'll of course, need a little toy pistol and some thugs to do his dirty work for him.  You know, cause he'll be busy with his "business".  Like Scarface, but the friendlier fuzzy school yard version.
So, tonight, I was forced to make a parenting decision.  It may not be the best one.  It may not be the right one.  It may cause years of therapy later on, but I don't care.  I give.  Nothing works for him, when it comes to discipline.  So, tonight, as I was pulling out Halloween decorations, I introduced Hud to Jasper:

Jasper is my kick ass stuffed skull on a stick.  Jasper doesn't take any crap from any punk ass kid!  I love Jasper.  Hud, on the other hand, is terrified of him!!!  Yay!!  Yes, I can honestly say I get pure joy from hearing him scream when Jasper is in the room.  It's totally awesome.  Like when you see a speeder get pulled over or the drunk loud jerk at the bar get kicked out (all of which I'm sure Hud will be one day).  So, now having the upper hand, I inform Hud that when he has a red day at school, Jasper will be spending the night in his room.  Mean?  Maybe.  Unconventional?  Of course.  Effective?  I think yes.  I may set him in front of his door tonight, just to prove a point.