Let me start by saying how much I hate Legos. Ok, I'll give you they make some cool stuff and can keep the boys somewhat busy. But, the negatives totally outweigh the positives. With it being pretty close to the surface of the sun outside, we trekked off to Target to get some new entertainment for the miserable afternoons. I was hoping the boys would go for a new Wii game or maybe some Tylenol PM and wine, but they ran straight for that damn Lego aisle. Great. So, we start looking at the Alien sets, trying to find 2 that aren't too complex or that don't cost $75 (seriously???? $75 for plastic???? Are there Chinese children in a factory somewhere with little gnarled hands from cutting out all the pieces?????).
We settle on a set for each child, then we go get a toy for mommy....they had a sale on my favorite wine! Yippy!
Fast forward now to the assemble of the stupid things. We get all the pieces for each set laid out and I of course, have to start on Hud's first. I open the instruction book and there are no words. Just pictures. How can I tell if it's a black piece or a dark gray piece needed? Wait, does that have 6 holes or 8? OMG, how many tiny little button circle things are in this damn box???? I felt like a migrant worker, because the entire time, Hud is hovering over me asking me how much longer, why am I so slow, why am I hiding under the coffee table crying.....
After the 3rd attempt I get his little space ship constructed and move on to Henry's UFO. Ok, sigh of relief because at least his set has a lot of big pieces. I'm feeling pretty darn confident on this one. As I'm working away, impressed with how well I am doing, I hear Hud start to scream. Crap. He brings me his little space ship, which is now in 3 pieces. Have I mentioned that I hate Legos??? I put it back together, send him on his way and go back to work on Henry's UFO.
***now you can go back and read the last 3 sentences 4 more times because that's how it all went down***
I finally get Henry's UFO finished and explain to Hud that he's not even allowed to look at his spaceship anymore because I am tired of fixing it. Well, he apparently looked at it because it fell apart again. That's it! This is war! Screw you Legos! You suck!!!! I will beat you!!! I am a Texas woman and there is a secret weapon that all Texas women keep close at hand! My glue gun!!!! Bwuahahahahahaha!!! I plug that thing in and wait. Ok, so the dramatic part kind of ends here because it takes a good 10 minutes for the gun to heat up.
As soon as I see that little blobby of glue melt on the end of the gun, it is time. I start glueing the loose pieces together. That piece of crap fell apart again while I was working on it!!! What the hell?????!!! Ok, we need more glue. As I'm glueing more of it together I manage to get it on my finger. Fabulous. I have now melted half the skin off of my index finger. Oh, not to mention the 25 strings of glue that are now attaching me to the pile of glue covered Legos that was once a space ship. I refuse to lose this battle. I need more glue! I get out a pile of sticks and load up my gun.
Well, I managed to get the spaceship put together. It looks like the Sanford and Son truck and I'm pretty sure I can hear the theme song to that show when I look at it. The legos are the bricks and the hot glue is now mortar. There are a few pieces missing. My counter is covered in hot glue blobs. I have 2 burns. But, damn it, it's in one piece and my child is happy. So screw you Legos. This time, I won!
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